


Life Persists

by agentofvalue



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:02:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentofvalue/pseuds/agentofvalue
Summary: Everything seemed to have changed after the fight with Vecna, and it might just keep on changing for Vex and Percy.





	Life Persists

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first foray into the Crit Role fandom, so I hope you like it. Based a little on what Laura Bailey suggested at the end of Search for Bob. No beta.

Vex was asleep when Percy entered their bedroom, which was unusual. If there wasn’t someone—usually himself or Trinket—to curl up next to, she might stay up, reading perhaps, maybe just waiting, if she was there at all. He had imposed a No-Trinket-in-the-bedroom-at-night rule, which did mean he lost her to bear sometimes even when times were good. And times were not good at the moment.

He didn’t blame her. Sometimes a person needed time alone to find their footing again. Or time with a bear. 

There had been a couple of weeks of distraction, but the rest Vox Machina had scattered and now even Velora had gone back to Syngorn. Vex seemed at a loss. She would make appearances during the day and then vanish into the woods. 

But tonight she had stayed, and he was glad. 

In the thin light from the moon, he could make out her outline and a surprising amount of detail. Her back was to him as she laid on her side with her fist clenched beside her head on the pillow. Even beneath the sheet, he could tell her knees were tucked up towards her chest, turning her long form into a ball as if it was a cold night and she only had leaves for comfort. The cloth draped across her body as if an artist had planned every wrinkle to look perfect for a sculpture. Some of her long hair escaped a braid and fanned out around her face, covering half of it. She was wearing the dark, sleeveless shift that went beneath her clothes as if she had been too tired to change. It left a shoulder exposed. There was just enough moonlight that he could admire the soft skin, the curve of the muscle. 

Percy began undressing as he gazed. He longed to plant a kiss upon that spot, though part of him hesitated to wake her up. She had been so tired lately. Grief, the weeks of fighting—it had caught up with all of them, and he wanted her to rest. 

But it rarely mattered what he wanted. 

“Percival, I can feel you watching me,” Vex said, her voice raspy with sleep. 

She rolled towards him, keeping her eyes closed. Her hair swept back as she moved so now he can admire the curve of her cheek, her nose, a pointed ear. 

“You are very perceptive,” he said. 

He shrugged out of his shirt and loosed his trousers, still sneaking looks to study every part of her. 

“What were you staring at?” she asked. 

“Your shoulder.” 

She opened an eye, looked him up and down, and closed it again. “What for?” 

“I was thinking it looked,” he paused to think of a better word and decided there wasn’t one, “kissable.” 

Now, she opened her eyes fully, looking up at him through her eyelashes. She smiled and let out half a laugh. “Why don’t you kiss it then?”

She was trying to distract him, but he wasn’t playing, not tonight at any rate. She stayed tonight, and that was more of an invitation than he has had in weeks. 

They’ve been on this edge since the final battle since Vax died. She hadn’t shown signs of leaving, but she hasn’t come back to him yet. Not really. All the nights she wanted to be alone, the days she acted so sunny it almost made his teeth ache. It felt like a show and she didn’t seem ready to let him behind the curtain. He tried to let her have her space, but if someone didn’t make a move soon he was beginning to worry she never would. He didn’t expect her to be done with grief, but he would like to help more, to understand better, to share the weight as much as he could. 

So he said, “Because you deserved some sleep. After everything you’ve been through, you’ve been so worn out lately.” 

He expected her to brush him off, to correct him with a comment about how much they had _all_ been through, or even a quip about how to make her feel better. 

Instead, she hid her face in the pillow, hair tumbling forward and fist clenching tighter. 

She said something again in a demanding tone, but he couldn’t understand her and he was not sure he was meant to. She repeated the same phrase a few times. Her leg kicked out—if she was standing it would have been a stomp. It was as if she was commanding herself to do something she didn’t want to do. 

“Vex, my love, what is troubling you?” Percy said, posing a direct question for the first time. He sat on the bed, leaning towards her but not touching her. “Besides the obvious,” he added. 

She stopped arguing with herself and bolted upright so quickly he had to lean back again. 

There was a wild look in her eyes he wasn’t expecting and doesn’t know how to interpret. 

“Would you marry me?” Vex asked.

He blinked. “Rather thought I had.” 

“I mean, would you still want to marry me? After everything?” 

“We told everyone there would be a destination wedding—it seems rude to back out now.”

“Please, I’m being serious.” 

“Of course I would! I wish I’d married you earlier, in fact. I saw you from that jail cell and my first words out of my mouth should have been, will you marry me?” 

She laughed, but it was a sad sound. “I feel like a fuckup all the time.”

“Dear, think of you are speaking to. I can relate.” 

“I’m not sure you can,” she answered. “I’m pregnant.”

Of all the things she might have said, that one surprised him. 

His logical mind raced ahead of his emotions. They hadn’t talked about children in any sort of concrete way. It was always a vague sure, maybe someday, indecisive commitment kind of way. But they hadn’t talked about marriage until they were on their way to the Sun Tree, so he supposed this aligned with the way their lives were going. Jump and figure the rest out later. 

He had a flash of Keyleth jumping off a very, very tall cliff, but pushed it away.

They were definitely more equipped than that. 

“That’s wonderful!” Percy said and pulled her into a hug. “I thought there was something else going on. You have been more tired and off your food.” She didn’t answer or really hug back and his confidence faltered. He let her go. “It is wonderful, isn’t it?” 

She might have shrugged, but it was hard to tell in the darkness. 

He needed to see her properly, so he got off the bed to turn on an enchanted lamp across the room. There was small magical pop when he touched the switch and the room filled with its warm light

But then, while his back was still turned, she said something else. “I’ve known for a while.” 

There was a gravity in her voice he didn’t like. 

He turned back to face her. “Define awhile.” 

She hesitated and then lifted her shirt. The loose fitting fabric hid it well. She was visibly pregnant. The soft skin he had admired earlier was stretched taut across a rounded bump too large to be mistaken for a big meal. 

So, that was what she had been really hiding. He was only standing a few feet away while she sat cross-legged on their bed, but it felt like miles. Suddenly, it hurt that she had kept him so far away. 

Percy’s gaze lifted away from her stomach and met her eyes. She held him for a second before looking away. 

Her voice was low when she spoke. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you. We just had so much else to fucking worry about when I found out.” 

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” He collapsed back onto the bed, practically kneeling in front of her with both hands gripping her knees. He realized what she had meant for awhile. “You knew the whole time while we were—everything we did—the volcano, the fighting a god, Pandemonium—and you knew you were carrying a child?” 

“Zahra was too, during the fight,” Vex said as though she knew it was a bad argument. 

“Frankly, at this moment, I don’t really give a shit about what Zahra did.” 

Vex flinched a little and her shoulders shrank in shame. She still wouldn’t look at him. “We had a job to do. We couldn’t stop and I didn’t think it would survive.” 

He was silent. What words could he possibly say?

“I just worry...” she trailed off. 

‘C’mon!’ Percy begged in his mind. He won’t push her but he desperately wanted to be let in. 

“I haven’t reacted the way everyone else seems to,” she said. 

She hadn’t been opposed to children, he knew that. But maybe that had changed when faced with reality. Or because everything else had changed. 

“Do you,” he swallowed, “not want it?” 

Faced with reality, Percy realized he did want it. He wanted that kid so badly the fact that they weren’t here yet felt like a missing arm. 

She looked up quickly. “What? No, I do want—do you not?" 

"No, no, no, I do. Definitely." 

"Okay because it's definitely happening." 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

"Then, what did you mean?" Percy prompted. 

“I'm not sad. I miss him.” Here, her voice cracked a little. “Sometimes all I think about is how half of me is fucking gone. I can’t catch my breath and my heart can only do half of what it needs to.” She took a deep breath, like the ones she had been struggling to get. “But the rest of the time I can’t help but think about how lucky I have been. I survived. It feels unfair to think that way because I miss him and because everyone else it hurting so much more. But, to me, it already feels like a past, that time when I had a brother.” 

Her lower lip was trembling now. He reached out to take her hand. She was inches away from breaking down in tears. Her words were careful, slow, and forceful as if she was doing her absolute best to make herself understood. 

And Percy did understand. He often felt as if he had already been many people in his life. Two of them had the man with a family and one without. 

With his free hand, he nudged his glasses back into place. “I know it’s not a good idea to compare, but I do know what it’s like to lose family. It changes you when they aren’t there anymore.” 

“Yes, but his time in Zephrah—I think it prepared me. I don’t know if he did that on purpose, but I learned how to be a part from him. This is just a long absence. He’s gone away and left me, but I’ll see him again. I know that sounds like denial, but it’s peace.” 

“Vex, if that’s how you feel, it’s not a bad thing.”

“Maybe the trauma will bite me in the ass later, but right now I just want to be excited about the future. I didn’t want to pressure anyone into feeling a certain way. It’s not like we plan this. I wasn’t sure if you were ready to think about what comes next.” 

He drew her in for a kiss and felt her sigh in relief. When they broke apart, he touched his forehead to hers. 

“I’m ready for whatever you throw at me. Together,” he said. 

“Together,” she repeated, not pulling away. “That’s the word that is making me feel so guilty. I somehow still have so much after this nightmare. And it’s growing.” 

Perhaps involuntarily, her hand brushed across her stomach. The motion sent a little thrill up Percy’s spine. Their child was in there. Growing. 

He sat up again and planted another soft kiss on her lips as he pulled away. 

“I really am sorry for keeping things from you. I didn’t know what to say and every passing day got it harder and harder. I’ve been hating myself not talking to you. It was so easy the first night. In the woods. I have had so many chances. I’ve always been so direct—I don’t know what’s happening to me.” 

“Things change,” he said simply. 

“It’s just so much in such a short amount of time. I blinked and everything turned upside down.” 

They were still very close together. Her knee laid across his thigh and he hadn’t let go of her hand. 

“I’m not interested in any bad feelings—there’s no room left,” he said. “We’re all just coping. If you needed to keep this to yourself until you were ready, I can’t be upset. It would’ve been the shock of my life if you’d gone into labor—”

“I am not that far along!” The laughter was back in her voice, but she wiped away a tear from her cheek. 

“I’m glad you told me, that’s all I mean. I have one request, however.”

“I promise I won’t keep the next one a secret.” 

“The next one?” He asked, but then he shook his head. “We can worry about the next one, next time. For this one, no V names. Vex, Vax, Vax, Vex! It’s confusing—even you have to admit it.” 

Her eyes go a little wide and Percy unsure if anyone has said Vax’s name aloud. It was definitely the first he had said it so casually. He braced for whatever wave of emotion might come, but she smiled. 

“Only if they have a normal amount of middle names. It’s a mouthful—even you have to admit it.” 

He laughed. “Fine. It’s a deal.” 

She threw her arms around him again and held on tight. It felt like the first hug after a long absence. 

“I love you,” he said. 

“I love you, too.” Her voice was muffled against him. 

“I mean it, Vex. More than words can express. I love you—I love that little person you’re making. I love the idea of—of building our family again. Not replace—never replace—but adding more names to the list.” 

She began to shake in his arms and he knew she was crying. He held her tighter, relieved himself and feeling her relief. 

It was a strong rush, but short-lived. Though he asked nothing of her, Vex pulled back after a few minutes. 

“A big family,” she whispered, wiping more tears away. 

Her outline was blurred through his own tears. “Yes, I like the sounds of that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you anyone is interested, I might keep going with other little scenes of the growing de Rolo family.


End file.
